Well.
Yeah, that's about the only thing I have to say. Deep insight there, huh?
"Some women are strong enough in their own sexuality to take what they want from it without sacrificing any part of themselves."
Am I that way? I know I'm capable of fucking one person and loving another. That's been proven. At least one of the things I skipped during the time I was neglecting my blog was that FireOpal told me to go have sex with Blonde and I did. Did he mean it? Of course not. But HE wasn't fulfilling his duty in that area, so...well, I used the excuse to get it from elsewhere. And it was good-Blonde is always good, for just fucking. But there's just too much missing there. Most importantly my heart. I've never been able to make love.
I don't even know anymore (and as often as I say that, is anyone else wondering when or if I ever DID know?). Do I want to just fuck? Do I want to make love? Do I want to take what comes along? *sigh* And all those things I said I wanted to do or to have done to me...well...they're kinda intimidating, too. I've never DONE them, wouldn't know how. Would feel awkward and embarrassed. But, dammit, the thought of it, the THOUGHT of doing all those things...makes me horny, still. I at least want to TRY it. I KNOW I'm masochistic, I can't even get myself off without at least a little pain. I just don't know how much I can handle. Might be interesting finding out, though. Would have to be with someone I trusted, and who would that even BE anymore? I don't even trust myself. *sigh, sigh, sigh*
And there's more drama. Or is it melodrama?
Laters