I cannot be with FireOpal. Not the way things are. But I can't let him go, either. So how do I tell him this without making it seem like an ultimatum? IS it an ultimatum? Show up or goodbye? He says he needs me, he says he loves me. But should I put to him that kind of choice, he'd leave. He doesn't treat me with any kind of respect. He allows me to treat him the same. This doesn't work. It's not working and it's probably not going to.
The other guy wants me. The other guy will show up. Tomorrow night if I didn't tell him no. The same for every night after that. And no matter what I tell him, he WILL be here on my birthday. Will FireOpal? No. This whole situation is wrong. It needs to change or cease to be. I only wish I didn't know which of those two options it's most likely to be.
Laters