I need to make my house a home. I need to make my apartment MINE. Since I'll be there for a while. I wish things made sense. I wish a lot of things, really. I wish FireOpal were mine. I wish he were here. I wish...I wish it were OUR home. I wish he were my husband and I his wife. I wish Amethyst were our child. I wish we could have more children. I wish we could live together and fight every now and then and make up. I wish we could get into arguments about toothpaste and toilet paper and silly little stupid every day things, things that don't mean anything, things that make our relationship stronger. Hell, anything that would make our relationship REAL would be good for me. Anything that would make HIM real.
Damn, if I prefer to be miserable, I'm REALLY fucked up. This is making me worse than miserable.
Laters