Just so my own brain can disseminate this information:

What is it about me that makes me so leavable? Or is it lovable? For as long as I've been dating, everyone that I've dated has fallen for me. And some of those I've just fucked. But in the end, they've all left. Well, more precisely I've left, but as a direct result of either being pushed away or allowed to leave. Anyway, as soon as I'm gone, they're with someone else. Immediately. Even if they haven't been with anyone else forever, even if they used to prefer to be single. So...what? I inspire commitment, just not to me? And to add to that, I remain alone for a long period of time. Right now it's looking like forever, and right now I don't really need to be anything but alone, but by the time I'm with anyone again,
the previous love is married or happily ever after in whatever way they find.

FUCK!!

This hurts my head. What the fucking shit-assed hell does this goddamned MEAN?

Oh, and the guy I'm fucking currently now has a colour: Denim. Because he's casual, somewhat comfortable depending on the circumstances, and ultimately disposable.
Laters