I look back upon my time with Ruby as a sort of heaven on earth experience. I think that he was my Camelot, my perfection. But I know that simply isn't true. There were problems. There are always problems. I tell myself-and others-that I'm aware that a "perfect" relationship doesn't exist, that I know there will always be SOME kind of hardships. But deep down, I don't believe it. I still want the Knight in Shining Armour, the Prince Charming, the Dream. And knowing this, knowing ME...I'll fuck up every relationship that I have trying to get what doesn't exist. There is no "happily ever after" in store for me. Anybody interested in a relationship with a commitmentphobe? Yeah, right. I can see the headline now: Wanted-Meaningful Temporary Relationship.
Yep, that sounds about right.
Laters

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
And He's dragging me all the way to hell with Him.
Fuck Him, fuck her, fuck her bitch kid and her helpless baby. Fuck them all. They are NOT FUCKING HELPING ONE GODDAMNED WHIT. But it's all MY fault. Again.
Bullshit brainless fuckhead assholes.
Laters