I look back upon my time with Ruby as a sort of heaven on earth experience. I think that he was my Camelot, my perfection. But I know that simply isn't true. There were problems. There are always problems. I tell myself-and others-that I'm aware that a "perfect" relationship doesn't exist, that I know there will always be SOME kind of hardships. But deep down, I don't believe it. I still want the Knight in Shining Armour, the Prince Charming, the Dream. And knowing this, knowing ME...I'll fuck up every relationship that I have trying to get what doesn't exist. There is no "happily ever after" in store for me. Anybody interested in a relationship with a commitmentphobe? Yeah, right. I can see the headline now: Wanted-Meaningful Temporary Relationship.
Yep, that sounds about right.
Laters