Well, I'm here. Took me long enough, but I'm at my parent's house. And they're thrilled to see me (even more to see Amethyst), and glad that I made it and am now safe. They don't really get why I left, though. Not because of the hitting-fuck that, it was part of our relationship, a generally consensual part. I left because he doesn't love me anymore. Anything else I could-and would, and have-put up with.
Speaking of the "I loved you" thing, though. Something terribly bizarre happened. Stormy (my sister who pretty much abhores Raven) brought up the point that he might have said that for one of two (or possibly both) reasons: A} he knew it was the one thing that would hurt me the worst and/or B} he knew that he couldn't really take care of me and was trying to do the right thing by me, letting me get things together on my own. Neither one of which I'd thought about. I tend to take people at face value-what you say is what you mean (or so I generally believe). And now it's in my head. And he's still in my heart.
Fuck, I'm tired of hurting like this.
Laters