Who are you?
I'm not you. I'm just someone exactly like you. Someone who has had the exact same experiences in the same order, at the same times with the same people and in the same places. So I'd guess I know you pretty well.
Why are you doing this?
To help you. To better understand yourself. Because I know you don't think you love you.
What do you want?
I want peace. I want to believe in something. I want not to hate myself for who I am while congratulating myself at the same time. I want to stop wanting. I want to stop dying. I want to stop crying. I want it all to go away. I want it all to change, to stay the same. I want to understand. No, I want someone else to understand.
Understand what?
Me would be the simplest answer. And the truth, but there's more. I want someone to understand that it matters not what I have gone through, and that others have had it worse. Because I know that. But just because others have had it worse does not lessen my pain. My view of the world.
What is your view of the world?
Hope. I know better. I KNOW. Without a doubt I know the futility of it. But still I hope. More than anything else.
Where are you looking?
I'm not. And everywhere. In everything I do, even this, I hope for that one...miracle might be the word. But I tell myself that I am not looking. So I can tell myself that I am not disappointed every night. And every morning. And every moment in between the two.
Do you think this will help?
No, of course not. But I hope.
Laters
Laters