I'm goddamned tired and fucking bruised. Raven came over this weekend. All weekend. It was...different. I've never actually tried the whole S&M thing-well, bdsm-and I don't mind it. I'm not sure if I LIKE it, but it's something interesting. There are aspects of it that I'm uncomfortable with, but Raven seems incredibly willing to work out those details with me. And he stopped when I needed him to. And he respected my hesitence for some things. He's...well, HE would put it as "twisted" over me. Or "in lust". But it's more than that and we both know it. He wants more. He wants everything. He wants me. I might even go so far as to say he's somewhat in love with me, or that he at least loves me. And it wouldn't be any kind of exaggeration. He wants to move in with me. Yeah, men fall for me. I just wonder WHY?
Anyway, I was up all weekend, practically. I'm exhausted. But I did wear my cross all weekend except when I was in the shower. Raven didn't like it, but I don't care. I love FireOpal. Still. Foolish? Yeah, probably. And despite everything-and I do mean EVERYthing-I still hope for him. I even think it's possible. God, I love him.
Okay, I'm rambling. Stupid drugs. Again.
Laters