I know that nobody's going to take the time to read all of this, but this is the conversation I just had. In the space of less than an hour.
(sapphire): I love you
(sapphire): I love you
(fireopal): I am tired of this.
(sapphire): I love you
(fireopal): I love you.
(sapphire): what do you want me to say?
(fireopal): nothing
(fireopal): there's nothing to say anymore
(sapphire): are...are you leaving me?
(fireopal): I think so
(sapphire): don't
(fireopal): you don't understand
(fireopal): you make me angry
(sapphire): I'm sorry
(fireopal): you used to hurt me
(fireopal): and now I think I've run out of hurt
(fireopal): I'm running on anger now
(fireopal): what is the POINT?
(fireopal): you will never change
(fireopal): NEVER
(fireopal): and I need a little more than that
(sapphire): so do I
(fireopal): then it shouldn't be that hard to accept
(sapphire): don't
(fireopal): why not?
(sapphire): because you don't want to
(sapphire): because you love me
(fireopal): oh, you have no idea how much I want this now.
(fireopal): I won't let you hurt me again.
(sapphire): okay
(sapphire): I'll let you hurt me again
(sapphire): a million times more
(fireopal): I don't care.
(sapphire): I know
(fireopal): *sigh*
(fireopal): I love you
(sapphire): I love you back
(fireopal): don't do this
(sapphire): do what?
(fireopal): remind me how much I love you
(sapphire): I'm sorry
(fireopal): can't I be angry for once? and stay that way?
(fireopal): don't I deserve to be angry?
(sapphire): yes
(fireopal): I have to warn you
(fireopal): I'm feeling particularly vindictive
(sapphire): okay
(fireopal): why is it so hard for you?
(sapphire): I don't know
(fireopal): I will never understand that
(fireopal): and though I might have forgiven you, I haven't forgotten
(fireopal): I hate what you've done to me
(sapphire): I do too
(fireopal): you proved me right
(sapphire): I know
(fireopal): I loved you
(sapphire): and I'm just like her
(fireopal): I would have given anything for you
(fireopal): you were better
(sapphire): no
(sapphire): I wasn't
(fireopal): don't argue with me
(sapphire): sorry
(fireopal): you were better
(sapphire): past tense? loved, would have, were?
(fireopal): I love you, sweetheart.
(sapphire): I love you too
(fireopal): I will always love you.
(sapphire): but?
(fireopal): but this has to be done.
(sapphire): oh
(fireopal): don't be too angry
(sapphire): I'm not
(fireopal): is he there?
(sapphire): no
(fireopal): but he will be
(sapphire): he will be on my birthday. I think he wants to prove to me that he'll do what you won't. some bullshit macho thing
(fireopal): tell him maybe he's right
(sapphire): I don't want him to be
(fireopal): let's see how long he can put up with you. he will NEVER love you as much as I did
(sapphire): do
(sapphire): as much as you do
(fireopal): as much as I do
(fireopal): this is the end, (SAPPHIRE)
(sapphire): honey?
(fireopal): yeah?
(sapphire): I...I know you're angry, baby. you have every right to be. but...well, this makes it easier for you, doesn't it? to be angry and leave. instead of trying
(fireopal): hell yeah
(sapphire): okay
(sapphire): I'm glad, then
(fireopal): I do love you
(sapphire): I know
(sapphire): I love you too
(fireopal): do you really?
(fireopal): I don't feel it anymore
(sapphire): I really do
(sapphire): if you could see...
(sapphire): god, baby
(fireopal): see what?
(sapphire): I want to tell you
(sapphire): but you need this
(sapphire): you don't need or want me to remind you
(fireopal): fine
(sapphire): I do love you
(sapphire): I love you SO much...
(sapphire): I don't want you to hurt.
(sapphire): and if you have to be angry in order not to, then...well
(sapphire): okay then
(fireopal): I'm sorry
(sapphire): don't be
(sapphire): you've never done anything to be sorry for
(sapphire): and you know ti
(fireopal): that's because I don't do anything
(sapphire): stop
(sapphire): you do all you can
(sapphire): and you love me
(fireopal): *sigh*
(sapphire): baby...my love. if you're going, you'd better go. before I start begging you to stay
(sapphire): I love you
(fireopal): I love you
(sapphire): I need you
(sapphire): don't go
(fireopal): that was fast
(sapphire): it's been building up
(fireopal): I'm going to disappear for a while
(sapphire): please don't
(sapphire): I need you
(sapphire): please
(fireopal): I'm ANGRY
(sapphire): I KNOW that!
(fireopal): I hope you're happy on your birthday
(fireopal): because I won't be there
(sapphire): shout at me, insult me, hurt me, anything, just talk to me and don't GO
(fireopal): I love you
(sapphire): be angry at me
(sapphire): with me, while I'm here
(fireopal): god, I love you
(sapphire): oh, god! baby, don't do this! I don't know how to keep you here, I don't want to beg, I don't want to cry, I don't think telling you every little thought I've been thinking about you and everything I'm doing for you would HELP
(sapphire): tell me what to do to make you stay
(fireopal): why?
(fireopal): we don't have a future together, anyway
(fireopal): it's still never
(sapphire): but I'm lost without you
(fireopal): you don't HAVE me
(sapphire): I did
(fireopal): I love you
(fireopal): I have to be angry
(fireopal): this is my limit
(sapphire): I know. it's easier, and more energizing
(fireopal): no more hurting
(fireopal): this was where I went wrong last time
(fireopal): I let her hurt me
(fireopal): and even now, I can't say no to her
(fireopal): can't get angry at her
(sapphire): but you can to me
(fireopal): that is what I'm changing now
(fireopal): I don't want another (evil whore bitch)
(sapphire): okay
(fireopal): but baby, you were much better.
(sapphire): oh, how I wish that were true
(fireopal): fine, don't believe me
(sapphire): don't DO this
(fireopal): You will be without me on your birthday
(fireopal): without anything of me
(sapphire): not even this?
(fireopal): what?
(sapphire): talking to you like this
(fireopal): not even this
(sapphire): okay
(fireopal): I refuse to give you anything to remember me by
(sapphire): okay
(fireopal): anything to prove I was ever yours
(fireopal): because this is what you chose.
(sapphire): all right
(fireopal): be gentle with yourself
(sapphire): I wish I could do that, too
(fireopal): you will
(sapphire): we'll see
(fireopal): I love you
(fireopal): I said I was only disappearing for a WHILE
(sapphire): but you're closing your heart to me forever
(fireopal): you better be there when I come back
(sapphire): and that's disappearing, too
(fireopal): we'll see
(sapphire): a while
(sapphire): less than a week ago you couldn't go five days without me
(sapphire): or two
(fireopal): god, I'm so sorry
(sapphire): no, no
(sapphire): don't be
(sapphire): I understand
(fireopal): I LOVE you
(sapphire): I KNOW that, baby
(fireopal): I'm so tempted to take (atomic tangerine) from you
(sapphire): oh
(sapphire): you should
(sapphire): before I end up hurting her, too
(fireopal): would you?
(sapphire): probably
(sapphire): is my nature
(fireopal): you'd hurt (atomic tangerine)?
(sapphire): not on purpose
(sapphire): I'm not hurting YOU on purpose
(fireopal): promise me you won't hurt her.
(sapphire): just take her away!
(fireopal): holy fucking shit
(sapphire): I can't promise what I don't know
(fireopal): do you think I CAN?
(fireopal): do you know how much that girl loves you?
(sapphire): and I won't break any more promises
(sapphire): yes, and I love her just as much
(fireopal): then fucking PROMISE
(sapphire): you need to protect her. from everything, from ME
(sapphire): so just DO it!
(fireopal): I CAN'T
(sapphire): I love (atomic tangerine)
(sapphire): but I love you too, and look what I've done to you?
(sapphire): is not something I can promise
(fireopal): well, you can't cheat on her
(fireopal): and that has always been your problem with me
(sapphire): it'll be something, though
(sapphire): it's always something
(fireopal): PROMISE, (SAPPHIRE)
(sapphire): I WILL NOT BREAK ANY MORE PROMISES!
(sapphire): so I'm not making any more
(fireopal): fuck you.
(fireopal): I'm going to talk to (atomic tangerine).
(fireopal): tell her what you've refused to promise.
(sapphire): okay
(fireopal): and try to get her to stay away.
(fireopal): but I know she won't.
(fireopal): and so remember this
(fireopal): if you dare hurt her
(fireopal): I swear I will hurt you worse.
(sapphire): not possible
(sapphire): there is no worse than this
(fireopal): oh my fucking god.
(fireopal): do NOT involve (atomic tangerine) in all this.
(fireopal): you'll be sorry.
(sapphire): I already am
(fireopal): I could hate you.
(sapphire): I don't suppose it would help to point out that you're taking everything I'm saying the wrong way?
(sapphire): and you could hate me, huh? well then
(sapphire): maybe I've proved, after all, that I could get you to stop loving me
(sapphire): and that you would
(fireopal): I still love you.
(sapphire): not for always
(fireopal): yes, for always.
(sapphire): not if you hate me
(fireopal): I can try
(fireopal): why would you hurt my (atomic tangerine)?
(sapphire): your (atomic tangerine) again?
(fireopal): mine
(sapphire): ah
(sapphire): no longer ours
(fireopal): she doesn't deserve to be called yours if you can't promise not to hurt her
(sapphire): not on purpose
(sapphire): never on purpose
(fireopal): have you kissed him? (raven)
(sapphire): I let him kiss me
(fireopal): bullshit
(fireopal): I'm going
(sapphire): okay
(sapphire): don't
(sapphire): please
(fireopal): I'm going
(sapphire): can I ask you one thing, first?
(fireopal): what
(sapphire): how long is a while?
(fireopal): I don't know
(sapphire): and why can't I have my day? and why can't it be my birthday? and why can't you give me the chance to PROVE that I'm yours? and why won't you let me make my OWN choice as to how much danger I'm willing to be in to be with you?
(fireopal): no, no, and no.
(fireopal): deal with it.
(sapphire): I will
(sapphire): I will find a way around this
(sapphire): and through it
(sapphire): to you
(fireopal): I could never be with someone who couldn't promise not to hurt (atomic tangerine)
(fireopal): I would have said goodbye on that alone
(sapphire): another convenient excuse
(fireopal): oh, no.
(fireopal): not (ATOMIC TANGERINE).
(fireopal): you know as well as I do that (atomic tangerine) is NOT just a convenient excuse.
(sapphire): I love (atomic tangerine). and I wouldn't hurt her for the world
(fireopal): you can't promise it
(sapphire): I couldn't promise it to you either
(sapphire): but I didn't hurt you on purpose
(fireopal): oh, well
(fireopal): you did
(fireopal): I'm going
(sapphire): okay
(sapphire): love?
(fireopal): what?
(sapphire): I love you
(sapphire): I'm sorry I broke us
(fireopal): (SAPPHIRE)?
(sapphire): and fucked everything up
(sapphire): but I love you
(sapphire): yeah?
(fireopal): I love you, too. for always.
Yahoo! Messenger: (fireopal) has logged out. (9/2/2003 11:44 AM)
(sapphire): then don't go
And do you know what part of me thinks, and SO MUCH of me is hoping? That he's putting it on, that he's making a scene so that he can surprise me on my birthday. I fucking hate my birthday. Three days and I wish it would never come.
Laters
(sapphire): I love you
(sapphire): I love you
(fireopal): I am tired of this.
(sapphire): I love you
(fireopal): I love you.
(sapphire): what do you want me to say?
(fireopal): nothing
(fireopal): there's nothing to say anymore
(sapphire): are...are you leaving me?
(fireopal): I think so
(sapphire): don't
(fireopal): you don't understand
(fireopal): you make me angry
(sapphire): I'm sorry
(fireopal): you used to hurt me
(fireopal): and now I think I've run out of hurt
(fireopal): I'm running on anger now
(fireopal): what is the POINT?
(fireopal): you will never change
(fireopal): NEVER
(fireopal): and I need a little more than that
(sapphire): so do I
(fireopal): then it shouldn't be that hard to accept
(sapphire): don't
(fireopal): why not?
(sapphire): because you don't want to
(sapphire): because you love me
(fireopal): oh, you have no idea how much I want this now.
(fireopal): I won't let you hurt me again.
(sapphire): okay
(sapphire): I'll let you hurt me again
(sapphire): a million times more
(fireopal): I don't care.
(sapphire): I know
(fireopal): *sigh*
(fireopal): I love you
(sapphire): I love you back
(fireopal): don't do this
(sapphire): do what?
(fireopal): remind me how much I love you
(sapphire): I'm sorry
(fireopal): can't I be angry for once? and stay that way?
(fireopal): don't I deserve to be angry?
(sapphire): yes
(fireopal): I have to warn you
(fireopal): I'm feeling particularly vindictive
(sapphire): okay
(fireopal): why is it so hard for you?
(sapphire): I don't know
(fireopal): I will never understand that
(fireopal): and though I might have forgiven you, I haven't forgotten
(fireopal): I hate what you've done to me
(sapphire): I do too
(fireopal): you proved me right
(sapphire): I know
(fireopal): I loved you
(sapphire): and I'm just like her
(fireopal): I would have given anything for you
(fireopal): you were better
(sapphire): no
(sapphire): I wasn't
(fireopal): don't argue with me
(sapphire): sorry
(fireopal): you were better
(sapphire): past tense? loved, would have, were?
(fireopal): I love you, sweetheart.
(sapphire): I love you too
(fireopal): I will always love you.
(sapphire): but?
(fireopal): but this has to be done.
(sapphire): oh
(fireopal): don't be too angry
(sapphire): I'm not
(fireopal): is he there?
(sapphire): no
(fireopal): but he will be
(sapphire): he will be on my birthday. I think he wants to prove to me that he'll do what you won't. some bullshit macho thing
(fireopal): tell him maybe he's right
(sapphire): I don't want him to be
(fireopal): let's see how long he can put up with you. he will NEVER love you as much as I did
(sapphire): do
(sapphire): as much as you do
(fireopal): as much as I do
(fireopal): this is the end, (SAPPHIRE)
(sapphire): honey?
(fireopal): yeah?
(sapphire): I...I know you're angry, baby. you have every right to be. but...well, this makes it easier for you, doesn't it? to be angry and leave. instead of trying
(fireopal): hell yeah
(sapphire): okay
(sapphire): I'm glad, then
(fireopal): I do love you
(sapphire): I know
(sapphire): I love you too
(fireopal): do you really?
(fireopal): I don't feel it anymore
(sapphire): I really do
(sapphire): if you could see...
(sapphire): god, baby
(fireopal): see what?
(sapphire): I want to tell you
(sapphire): but you need this
(sapphire): you don't need or want me to remind you
(fireopal): fine
(sapphire): I do love you
(sapphire): I love you SO much...
(sapphire): I don't want you to hurt.
(sapphire): and if you have to be angry in order not to, then...well
(sapphire): okay then
(fireopal): I'm sorry
(sapphire): don't be
(sapphire): you've never done anything to be sorry for
(sapphire): and you know ti
(fireopal): that's because I don't do anything
(sapphire): stop
(sapphire): you do all you can
(sapphire): and you love me
(fireopal): *sigh*
(sapphire): baby...my love. if you're going, you'd better go. before I start begging you to stay
(sapphire): I love you
(fireopal): I love you
(sapphire): I need you
(sapphire): don't go
(fireopal): that was fast
(sapphire): it's been building up
(fireopal): I'm going to disappear for a while
(sapphire): please don't
(sapphire): I need you
(sapphire): please
(fireopal): I'm ANGRY
(sapphire): I KNOW that!
(fireopal): I hope you're happy on your birthday
(fireopal): because I won't be there
(sapphire): shout at me, insult me, hurt me, anything, just talk to me and don't GO
(fireopal): I love you
(sapphire): be angry at me
(sapphire): with me, while I'm here
(fireopal): god, I love you
(sapphire): oh, god! baby, don't do this! I don't know how to keep you here, I don't want to beg, I don't want to cry, I don't think telling you every little thought I've been thinking about you and everything I'm doing for you would HELP
(sapphire): tell me what to do to make you stay
(fireopal): why?
(fireopal): we don't have a future together, anyway
(fireopal): it's still never
(sapphire): but I'm lost without you
(fireopal): you don't HAVE me
(sapphire): I did
(fireopal): I love you
(fireopal): I have to be angry
(fireopal): this is my limit
(sapphire): I know. it's easier, and more energizing
(fireopal): no more hurting
(fireopal): this was where I went wrong last time
(fireopal): I let her hurt me
(fireopal): and even now, I can't say no to her
(fireopal): can't get angry at her
(sapphire): but you can to me
(fireopal): that is what I'm changing now
(fireopal): I don't want another (evil whore bitch)
(sapphire): okay
(fireopal): but baby, you were much better.
(sapphire): oh, how I wish that were true
(fireopal): fine, don't believe me
(sapphire): don't DO this
(fireopal): You will be without me on your birthday
(fireopal): without anything of me
(sapphire): not even this?
(fireopal): what?
(sapphire): talking to you like this
(fireopal): not even this
(sapphire): okay
(fireopal): I refuse to give you anything to remember me by
(sapphire): okay
(fireopal): anything to prove I was ever yours
(fireopal): because this is what you chose.
(sapphire): all right
(fireopal): be gentle with yourself
(sapphire): I wish I could do that, too
(fireopal): you will
(sapphire): we'll see
(fireopal): I love you
(fireopal): I said I was only disappearing for a WHILE
(sapphire): but you're closing your heart to me forever
(fireopal): you better be there when I come back
(sapphire): and that's disappearing, too
(fireopal): we'll see
(sapphire): a while
(sapphire): less than a week ago you couldn't go five days without me
(sapphire): or two
(fireopal): god, I'm so sorry
(sapphire): no, no
(sapphire): don't be
(sapphire): I understand
(fireopal): I LOVE you
(sapphire): I KNOW that, baby
(fireopal): I'm so tempted to take (atomic tangerine) from you
(sapphire): oh
(sapphire): you should
(sapphire): before I end up hurting her, too
(fireopal): would you?
(sapphire): probably
(sapphire): is my nature
(fireopal): you'd hurt (atomic tangerine)?
(sapphire): not on purpose
(sapphire): I'm not hurting YOU on purpose
(fireopal): promise me you won't hurt her.
(sapphire): just take her away!
(fireopal): holy fucking shit
(sapphire): I can't promise what I don't know
(fireopal): do you think I CAN?
(fireopal): do you know how much that girl loves you?
(sapphire): and I won't break any more promises
(sapphire): yes, and I love her just as much
(fireopal): then fucking PROMISE
(sapphire): you need to protect her. from everything, from ME
(sapphire): so just DO it!
(fireopal): I CAN'T
(sapphire): I love (atomic tangerine)
(sapphire): but I love you too, and look what I've done to you?
(sapphire): is not something I can promise
(fireopal): well, you can't cheat on her
(fireopal): and that has always been your problem with me
(sapphire): it'll be something, though
(sapphire): it's always something
(fireopal): PROMISE, (SAPPHIRE)
(sapphire): I WILL NOT BREAK ANY MORE PROMISES!
(sapphire): so I'm not making any more
(fireopal): fuck you.
(fireopal): I'm going to talk to (atomic tangerine).
(fireopal): tell her what you've refused to promise.
(sapphire): okay
(fireopal): and try to get her to stay away.
(fireopal): but I know she won't.
(fireopal): and so remember this
(fireopal): if you dare hurt her
(fireopal): I swear I will hurt you worse.
(sapphire): not possible
(sapphire): there is no worse than this
(fireopal): oh my fucking god.
(fireopal): do NOT involve (atomic tangerine) in all this.
(fireopal): you'll be sorry.
(sapphire): I already am
(fireopal): I could hate you.
(sapphire): I don't suppose it would help to point out that you're taking everything I'm saying the wrong way?
(sapphire): and you could hate me, huh? well then
(sapphire): maybe I've proved, after all, that I could get you to stop loving me
(sapphire): and that you would
(fireopal): I still love you.
(sapphire): not for always
(fireopal): yes, for always.
(sapphire): not if you hate me
(fireopal): I can try
(fireopal): why would you hurt my (atomic tangerine)?
(sapphire): your (atomic tangerine) again?
(fireopal): mine
(sapphire): ah
(sapphire): no longer ours
(fireopal): she doesn't deserve to be called yours if you can't promise not to hurt her
(sapphire): not on purpose
(sapphire): never on purpose
(fireopal): have you kissed him? (raven)
(sapphire): I let him kiss me
(fireopal): bullshit
(fireopal): I'm going
(sapphire): okay
(sapphire): don't
(sapphire): please
(fireopal): I'm going
(sapphire): can I ask you one thing, first?
(fireopal): what
(sapphire): how long is a while?
(fireopal): I don't know
(sapphire): and why can't I have my day? and why can't it be my birthday? and why can't you give me the chance to PROVE that I'm yours? and why won't you let me make my OWN choice as to how much danger I'm willing to be in to be with you?
(fireopal): no, no, and no.
(fireopal): deal with it.
(sapphire): I will
(sapphire): I will find a way around this
(sapphire): and through it
(sapphire): to you
(fireopal): I could never be with someone who couldn't promise not to hurt (atomic tangerine)
(fireopal): I would have said goodbye on that alone
(sapphire): another convenient excuse
(fireopal): oh, no.
(fireopal): not (ATOMIC TANGERINE).
(fireopal): you know as well as I do that (atomic tangerine) is NOT just a convenient excuse.
(sapphire): I love (atomic tangerine). and I wouldn't hurt her for the world
(fireopal): you can't promise it
(sapphire): I couldn't promise it to you either
(sapphire): but I didn't hurt you on purpose
(fireopal): oh, well
(fireopal): you did
(fireopal): I'm going
(sapphire): okay
(sapphire): love?
(fireopal): what?
(sapphire): I love you
(sapphire): I'm sorry I broke us
(fireopal): (SAPPHIRE)?
(sapphire): and fucked everything up
(sapphire): but I love you
(sapphire): yeah?
(fireopal): I love you, too. for always.
Yahoo! Messenger: (fireopal) has logged out. (9/2/2003 11:44 AM)
(sapphire): then don't go
And do you know what part of me thinks, and SO MUCH of me is hoping? That he's putting it on, that he's making a scene so that he can surprise me on my birthday. I fucking hate my birthday. Three days and I wish it would never come.
Laters
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