Right now I'm feeling...very antisocial. Towards all the horny assholes wanting and/or trying to fuck me for one-honestly, I'm just not in the mood for sex. Though that probably has something to do with me being actively female.
And I don't want Raven to move in. I don't even want to ever see him again. I would be fine if he just fell off the face of the planet. Yes, that would work for me.
Only...I know things will change. Which is the only reason I haven't told him to take a flying leap into the pit of hell where he belongs. He pays me the attention that I want, and him being here will solve my financial situation. So I can use him for that and he can use me for sex. Only he wants to use me for much more. To submit to HIM? That's gonna happen. (note the sarcasm) Yeah it is. Partially, maybe, and almost totally in bed for sure. That's the way I've always been in the bedroom. That's the way I LIKE to be in the bedroom.
*sigh*
Right now things are okay-good, even-between FireOpal and I. Which is why I'm feeling so antisocial to everyone else. Because I LOVE him. I want to concentrate on ONLY him. I want to BE with only him. Right now.
He asked me not to kiss Raven anymore. Because I didn't really ever kiss Blonde. Because kissing is special. And I asked Raven if he would mind not kissing me anymore and he said no. Because "I will not have him dictate the nature or extent of our relationship. End of story." And "I want you and I'm willing to put up with a lot of this [FireOpal] shit to have you but I do have my limits." Only he didn't use capitals or apostrophes correctly. And I really do hate that.
Speaking of poor grammer and punctuation, Atomic Tangerine has a problem. Not herself, not in that, but someone with that problem has been...bothering her. And I know how she'll react and I know how she feels and dammit, I just want to fucking KILL the guy. And the only thing I can do about it is be here for her and let her know I love her. And hell, at least she talks to me about it. Thank god I'm here for that.
Stormy's going to kill me if she finds out that I'm either a) considering letting Raven move in or b) talking to FireOpal again. But she loves me. She'll forgive me...eventually. Though she'll avoid me and my place if Raven's here.
I miss Hunter and Magenta. And 'she who will not be named or colour coded'. Atomic Tangerine is right-I AM happy there. I know the place and I love the people-at least MY people. And despite the prevalence of crap that's to be dealt with there, I think...maybe I should move. There. I'm...at home there. As at home as I can be, at any rate. Plus there's the added benefit of free babysitting. Gotta love exploiting the parentals. Of course, they think they're exploiting me on that, too. I thouroughly enjoy having the only grandkid out of the four of us kids.
Anyway, it's late and Amethyst goes to school in the morning. Again. (vague whinings about baby and school and birth yesterday)
Laters
And I don't want Raven to move in. I don't even want to ever see him again. I would be fine if he just fell off the face of the planet. Yes, that would work for me.
Only...I know things will change. Which is the only reason I haven't told him to take a flying leap into the pit of hell where he belongs. He pays me the attention that I want, and him being here will solve my financial situation. So I can use him for that and he can use me for sex. Only he wants to use me for much more. To submit to HIM? That's gonna happen. (note the sarcasm) Yeah it is. Partially, maybe, and almost totally in bed for sure. That's the way I've always been in the bedroom. That's the way I LIKE to be in the bedroom.
*sigh*
Right now things are okay-good, even-between FireOpal and I. Which is why I'm feeling so antisocial to everyone else. Because I LOVE him. I want to concentrate on ONLY him. I want to BE with only him. Right now.
He asked me not to kiss Raven anymore. Because I didn't really ever kiss Blonde. Because kissing is special. And I asked Raven if he would mind not kissing me anymore and he said no. Because "I will not have him dictate the nature or extent of our relationship. End of story." And "I want you and I'm willing to put up with a lot of this [FireOpal] shit to have you but I do have my limits." Only he didn't use capitals or apostrophes correctly. And I really do hate that.
Speaking of poor grammer and punctuation, Atomic Tangerine has a problem. Not herself, not in that, but someone with that problem has been...bothering her. And I know how she'll react and I know how she feels and dammit, I just want to fucking KILL the guy. And the only thing I can do about it is be here for her and let her know I love her. And hell, at least she talks to me about it. Thank god I'm here for that.
Stormy's going to kill me if she finds out that I'm either a) considering letting Raven move in or b) talking to FireOpal again. But she loves me. She'll forgive me...eventually. Though she'll avoid me and my place if Raven's here.
I miss Hunter and Magenta. And 'she who will not be named or colour coded'. Atomic Tangerine is right-I AM happy there. I know the place and I love the people-at least MY people. And despite the prevalence of crap that's to be dealt with there, I think...maybe I should move. There. I'm...at home there. As at home as I can be, at any rate. Plus there's the added benefit of free babysitting. Gotta love exploiting the parentals. Of course, they think they're exploiting me on that, too. I thouroughly enjoy having the only grandkid out of the four of us kids.
Anyway, it's late and Amethyst goes to school in the morning. Again. (vague whinings about baby and school and birth yesterday)
Laters
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