"I'll have more [here meaning any] respect for him when he starts contributing in any way, treats you like anything other than shit, and stops fucking your friends."
Is Stormy right? My face is so bruised I have to wear five layers of makeup-NOT my area of expertise, seeing as how I NEVER wear makeup-my rent is unpaid, as are my electric (for three months) and phone bills, my communications are restricted to the point of only being allowed to have contact with immediate family and neighbors-and, of course, teachers and the like to be able to take care of Amethyst-I haven't gotten laid in a week (while He's been out fucking HER), and I'm in so much fucking pain it's nearly unbearable. This is just too fucked up. 'Voluntary' my ass.
I do love her. But godDAMN! How is she treating me with anything other than disdain when she invites MY boyfriend to fuck her when she's not even SPEAKING to me? An utter lack of respect on her part. And it's not getting any better. She doesn't trust me. Hell, HE doesn't even trust me. So why in the fuck should I trust them? Always whispering and plotting together, leaving me out of everything-except to watch the kids, of course-Him telling me He wants a poly-relationship and that's why He's with her. But even tonight when they were kissing each other-right in front of me-and the baby started crying, *I* was the one who made any move to go comfort her. Because they were too wrapped up in each other. I'd be perfectly expendable if it weren't for the kids.
But I can't say that, can I? Oh, no. Of course not. I can't even MENTION that it bothers me to have my boyfriend fucking another woman because then I'm a selfish bitch who wants everything for myself. How would SHE feel if it were HER husband who was fucking ME? But no. Candi has to take it. All of it. The beatings, the restrictions, the emotional trauma.
And you know what FUCKING PISSES ME OFF? They know I will.
Laters
Is Stormy right? My face is so bruised I have to wear five layers of makeup-NOT my area of expertise, seeing as how I NEVER wear makeup-my rent is unpaid, as are my electric (for three months) and phone bills, my communications are restricted to the point of only being allowed to have contact with immediate family and neighbors-and, of course, teachers and the like to be able to take care of Amethyst-I haven't gotten laid in a week (while He's been out fucking HER), and I'm in so much fucking pain it's nearly unbearable. This is just too fucked up. 'Voluntary' my ass.
I do love her. But godDAMN! How is she treating me with anything other than disdain when she invites MY boyfriend to fuck her when she's not even SPEAKING to me? An utter lack of respect on her part. And it's not getting any better. She doesn't trust me. Hell, HE doesn't even trust me. So why in the fuck should I trust them? Always whispering and plotting together, leaving me out of everything-except to watch the kids, of course-Him telling me He wants a poly-relationship and that's why He's with her. But even tonight when they were kissing each other-right in front of me-and the baby started crying, *I* was the one who made any move to go comfort her. Because they were too wrapped up in each other. I'd be perfectly expendable if it weren't for the kids.
But I can't say that, can I? Oh, no. Of course not. I can't even MENTION that it bothers me to have my boyfriend fucking another woman because then I'm a selfish bitch who wants everything for myself. How would SHE feel if it were HER husband who was fucking ME? But no. Candi has to take it. All of it. The beatings, the restrictions, the emotional trauma.
And you know what FUCKING PISSES ME OFF? They know I will.
Laters
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