Hast Du Etwas Zeit Für Mich?

Except, really, I need someone with nothing BUT time for me. I need attention.
I feel so alone and isolated; it makes me want to scream and jump around just so I know that others know I'm here.
I feel like all the people who screwed me over went on to have everything they wanted, everything they took away from me.
I feel like my only triumph over them is Amethyst, and I feel sometimes that's not a triumph at all. She wasn't exactly deliberate, and what I mean by that is that I never deliberately took her away or deprived anyone of her or used her in any way just to cause pain. She just sort of does, by her absence. Everyone loves her.
I feel like everything is my fault-for allowing myself to be walked on if for nothing else.
I feel like I'm being penalized for others' malice. Like because I'm so trusting and loving and loyal, I'm being punished. I feel like the heart I wear on my sleeve is nothing more than an invitation to stab it/crush it/shatter it/otherwise rend it useless.
I feel like my words, along with my love, are being swallowed by a hungry void. I feel like even my screams get sucked down it, ripped from my throat into oblivion.
I feel like ending this pathetic attempt at...who knows what?
Laters