Whining
I'm older than I look, but younger than I should be. The poetry I write cries bloody tears, always begging for something, or something more. And because here is where I allow myself to express my pain, I am accused of 'whining'. Okay, then. I whine.
The parts of my life I live are ...comfortable. This is where I write; elsewhere I live. And that life is full and vibrant and busy as hell. Amethyst is beautiful, smart, and funny as hell. She sparkles even when she pouts, her eyes so wide and so nearly innocent. Behind the deep brown of them you can see the twinkle of intelligence, the glint of knowing how she's got mommy wrapped right around her finger. Some might call that manipulation. They're right, of course, but really it's just practice for her. She IS, after all, the antichrist.
My job sucks, of course. It's a job, it's not supposed to be fun and games. I've got total job security, though, because not only am I damned good at what I do, but I'm the only one who can do it on the shift I work. It can get stressful, especially since we're taking on more clients than we can probably handle. But I just got a raise, eight and a half percent. I make good money, I can pay my bills, keep Amethyst in Tae Kwon Do, and plan big, expensive trips to DisneyWorld. End of May, and Stormy and her husband and my nephew are coming, too. I'm endeavoring to pay off the shit from LA, but it's difficult to track down everything AND it's not exactly on the top of my list to show up there and get arrested for the bench warrants I'm sure have been issued for me. But, financially I'm doing much better than okay.
I can't think about men or dating right now. First of all I'm far too busy, working all the time and hanging out with Amethyst every other waking minute. Sex is few and far between, and the last one kinda got clingy and completely insane. He's off getting some kind of medical treatment, and I'm hoping he'll be gone long enough to either forget me or at least expect me to have moved on. Any time over a week, ya think? LoL Anyway, I'm much better off where I am right now. Nothing can be worse than my last relationship, after all.
So...I love my daughter and I love my life. I'm not perfect, and I've never claimed to be. I've got pain, but I've also got joy. Here is the pain. Most of you don't know me, and I don't give a fuck about the ones who do. Time passes and I heal. More time passes. And I heal.
Oh, and less than a month until Amethyst turns seven. Around the same time, my nephew, Aquamarine, turns one. Yay, birthdays!
I have some new movies to watch. I just love shopping!
Laters
The parts of my life I live are ...comfortable. This is where I write; elsewhere I live. And that life is full and vibrant and busy as hell. Amethyst is beautiful, smart, and funny as hell. She sparkles even when she pouts, her eyes so wide and so nearly innocent. Behind the deep brown of them you can see the twinkle of intelligence, the glint of knowing how she's got mommy wrapped right around her finger. Some might call that manipulation. They're right, of course, but really it's just practice for her. She IS, after all, the antichrist.
My job sucks, of course. It's a job, it's not supposed to be fun and games. I've got total job security, though, because not only am I damned good at what I do, but I'm the only one who can do it on the shift I work. It can get stressful, especially since we're taking on more clients than we can probably handle. But I just got a raise, eight and a half percent. I make good money, I can pay my bills, keep Amethyst in Tae Kwon Do, and plan big, expensive trips to DisneyWorld. End of May, and Stormy and her husband and my nephew are coming, too. I'm endeavoring to pay off the shit from LA, but it's difficult to track down everything AND it's not exactly on the top of my list to show up there and get arrested for the bench warrants I'm sure have been issued for me. But, financially I'm doing much better than okay.
I can't think about men or dating right now. First of all I'm far too busy, working all the time and hanging out with Amethyst every other waking minute. Sex is few and far between, and the last one kinda got clingy and completely insane. He's off getting some kind of medical treatment, and I'm hoping he'll be gone long enough to either forget me or at least expect me to have moved on. Any time over a week, ya think? LoL Anyway, I'm much better off where I am right now. Nothing can be worse than my last relationship, after all.
So...I love my daughter and I love my life. I'm not perfect, and I've never claimed to be. I've got pain, but I've also got joy. Here is the pain. Most of you don't know me, and I don't give a fuck about the ones who do. Time passes and I heal. More time passes. And I heal.
Oh, and less than a month until Amethyst turns seven. Around the same time, my nephew, Aquamarine, turns one. Yay, birthdays!
I have some new movies to watch. I just love shopping!
Laters
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