The question of the moment is: did I yes or did I no break my "no sex" streak the day before it's one year anniversary? The answer of the moment is: it's up to you. He came over and smelled so good, so clean, so get-between-my-legs delicious...so we sit on the couch and are kinda talking and stuff and I start giving him a back rub. And in order to do it properly, he doesn't need his shirt...and things progressed from there. Rapidly. He's not the best kisser in the world, doesn't use enough tongue, but everything else...everything else was excellent. Hands, body, dick-which is just as large as promised, so yes, he DOES have a right to brag. Anyway, we're kinda getting it on, and I get...carried away. We actually sort of start scrogging-well, he was barely in and...even though my body is dying for me to just keep my mouth shut and go with it-I stop him. "I'm not ready." To have sex at all after a year. To have sex with someone who wants no commitments afterwards. To have sex with a guy that I really DO like, but who, for reasons even he's confused about, doesn't want a relationship with me. I know me. I get attached too easily, and for me there are always strings. Even though he wasn't going to be just a one night stand-even he said it would be more than just the once-I can't...no, I won't be with someone that way without the possibility of more. Not just because I want it, the more. Because I need it. But OMG, it felt so GOOD!! A fact which I will not dwell on. Anyway, Blonde was super respectful of my "no, stops"...and even more respectful the one time I forgot and said "don't stop", but that's not the point. Afterwards we just sat naked close together, talking until Slate started to unlock the door at which point I had to shout at him to stay out until all our clothes were on. Well, I didn't figure I had time for underthings, but I got the jeans and shirt on. Then Blonde and I talked for a little while more and he left. Much as I hate it, there is no relationship possibility there. Another fact that I will not dwell on. Any-hoo, I'm still a little freaked out, and I'm going to decide what to be freaked out over-the fact that I let it get as far as it did, or the fact that it didn't get farther. My body's still...reacting. Oh, and my opinion is that no, I did not have sex and tomorrow/today/whatever is still my one year mark. HIS opinion is that yes, I did have sex and tomorrow I'll have to start over. But you make your own decision about that.
Laters