I'm not concerned for myself. I'm really not-because if I die or whatever, like I said everyone's better off. I just...I wonder if tomorrow's going to be the day. The day that I find out what I'm capable of. Drive too fast, hoping not to quite make that next turn. Climb up on the railings, wondering if I'll try to catch myself should I start to fall. Walk alone in dark alleyways at night, at the wrong times, contemplating what I'll do if encountered. I do wonder if I'll finally be able to put this thing aside, this thing that's preventing me from doing what I most want to do, what I think is best for everyone.
I'm really messed up tonight.
Escapism! I'mma go read a book-and hopefully fall asleep with my brain inactive so I won't have dreams.
Laters