Goddammit, there's so fucking MUCH I don't know! And I suck at research. There are a million things I have to do to get ready for this, and I only know one or two of them. And even if I knew everything, I'm still fucking terrified. I've never been on my own. Never. I don't even think I can do it. But since it looks pretty much like I have to, I want to CHOOSE in what way to do so. Move to another country? When I've never even been outside my own? I have no skills, no job, no education, no money. Nothing. Would I be able to make it? Would I be able to make it even in my OWN country? Damn, this is scary. What can I do? What should I do? I'm in love. I want to choose love, to be with love. Love chose me. Love chose to exist for me. What will MY love say? He's so scared. How would he react if I were in the same area? How would *I* react if I were in the same area and I STILL wasn't able to be with him? What happens then? Hell, what happens NOW?
I'm so fucking confused.
Laters