I just don't know what to say here anymore. Or to think in my head and thus transcribe in this space. I'm so...well, the way I always am. Confused. In love. Awake. Well, the past three days haven't been the last one. I've pretty much slept through them. Fucking drugs.
Anyway. I love FireOpal. I know I don't have to say it sixteen times a second, but it's there, always there, insistently, persistently PRESENT. So I'm doing this whole abstinence thing. Without telling anyone. No one over, not for any reason. Because it always leads to sex, and I'm trying to be with just one. FireOpal. Even though I'm not WITH him, I love him still. So by doing this without telling him, without telling ANYONE, I'm doing it for ME. The me that I know is worth it. The me that I know is worth more than dozens of useless horny (married) men. Three days so far. We'll see how it goes.
Laters