"Goodbye to you;
Goodbye to everything that I knew.
You were the one I loved,
The one thing that I tried to hold on to..."

I need him to be holding me, kising me. I need to lose myself in his embrace. Whose? Does it matter? No. Anything to get me out of here, to make me feel anything other than this. Trapped in my own skin, I'm desperately trying to claw my way out of it. I wish I could.Three years. Has it been that long? No, it's been longer. Not much, but still longer. "Tears form behind my eyes, but I do not cry-counting the days that passed me by."
Don't let go...
I can't. It's something I regret. Something that I wish with all I am that I could do over, or at least make amends. But I can't, and I know it. So I carry it with me and it touches the whole of my life. Ruby...blood. My heart's blood-always.
"Goodbye to you..."
If only it were as easy to embrace "goodbye" as it is to say it.
I will never let go.
Laters