Up, Off, or Out: Backing Where?

Well, it's too late to give it up now. Two weeks, a little less than. I've got approval to leave work early; I've booked a hotel room, arranged a baby-sitter. A strange city, but that's never been a problem for me, not with how many times I've moved, how many cities I've had to conquer. To the solid from the surreal, and it takes my breath away. (I'll have to remind myself: inhale, hold, exhale, hold, repeat.) I've still got to fully believe this thing will happen, but all my plans are in place. And then what? Will we be awkward around each other? Will we just want to jump each other right there? Will one of us feel awkward and the other want to jump? Jesus mother fucking christ on a goddamned crutch.
I just...I'm in love with the way he writes, the things he thinks and says. I'm in love with the way he describes himself: "A sweet, caring romantic who is into inflicting unbearable amounts of pain." I'm in love with his sex drive, so in tune with mine.
I'm just nervous. Going to a place I'm not familiar with to meet a guy I don't really know exists. Reminds me too much of something else...WAY too much. Except that he's willing to PROVE his existence, unlike that other thing. Which didn't exist. I wonder what it will be like, though? Will I even need my hotel room? On some level...on some level I'm hoping not. I'd love to be bound...
Before we meet...tell me your secret?
Laters