Mirror
It's no surprise to anyone-least of all me-that I'm single. I don't LIKE the state of affairs, but I'm not in any way shocked by it. What IS surprising is the fact that I've ever been in a relationship at all. And much more shocking that I managed, somehow, to get pregnant.
At that point in time I was so young. How can an eighteen-year-old be that young? I look back at that girl and I just want to smack her upside the head with a two-by-four. But I don't think it would have done any good. And even if it had, where would I be now? Foolish question, really. Because the only answer is "somewhere else", and no answer could possibly matter. Life doesn't give do-overs. If it did...
Anyway, that was a total side trip. Where I was going with this was somewhere completely else, so I'll get back on that road.
Maybe it's not so amazing that I got myself impregnated at such a young age. I was, as Stormy loves to put it, a whore. What else could be expected? I was raised Mormon in a household with little to no discipline where anything related to human (or, hell, even animal) sexuality was incredibly taboo. No wonder I discovered sex and immediately became addicted. The funny thing is, I was "sweet sixteen and never been kissed". I was so naive.
And now, look where I am. Ten months out of a totally shite relationship-my second ever real relationship, just so you know-working hard, living with my parents, and a (technically) single mother. By no means am I making the big bucks, but I can pay my bills, keep Amethyst in an excellent after school program, and even have a little to spare for little things like movies and books and time with friends. And, of course, spoiling Amethyst rotten.
Oh! Speaking of Amethyst, she got her second stripe at Tae Kwon Do! Oh, I'm SO proud of her! She's doing so well, and completely enjoying herself. I'm thrilled that it teaches her discipline and responsibility, which I'm also trying to instill in her. She's already got the respect thing down-mostly. She doesn't cuss around my parents or in school, she asks permission for almost everything and actually takes "no" as an answer. She'll usually ask "why", but I encourage that-I don't want her to be a blind faith/useless automaton. Of course, there always comes that time when a parent just doesn't have an answer. But I've never ever said, "Because I said so." Instead I say, "Because I'm a mean and horrible, evil mother and all I want to do is make you suffer." She doesn't believe a word of it.
I had a lot more to this post, mostly about how pissed off I am that my father went and bought her a reward/toy for getting her second stripe in Tae Kwon Do, but it got lost when I was trying to publish. So this is all you get. And maybe some pictures after I get a little work done.
Laters
At that point in time I was so young. How can an eighteen-year-old be that young? I look back at that girl and I just want to smack her upside the head with a two-by-four. But I don't think it would have done any good. And even if it had, where would I be now? Foolish question, really. Because the only answer is "somewhere else", and no answer could possibly matter. Life doesn't give do-overs. If it did...
Anyway, that was a total side trip. Where I was going with this was somewhere completely else, so I'll get back on that road.
Maybe it's not so amazing that I got myself impregnated at such a young age. I was, as Stormy loves to put it, a whore. What else could be expected? I was raised Mormon in a household with little to no discipline where anything related to human (or, hell, even animal) sexuality was incredibly taboo. No wonder I discovered sex and immediately became addicted. The funny thing is, I was "sweet sixteen and never been kissed". I was so naive.
And now, look where I am. Ten months out of a totally shite relationship-my second ever real relationship, just so you know-working hard, living with my parents, and a (technically) single mother. By no means am I making the big bucks, but I can pay my bills, keep Amethyst in an excellent after school program, and even have a little to spare for little things like movies and books and time with friends. And, of course, spoiling Amethyst rotten.
Oh! Speaking of Amethyst, she got her second stripe at Tae Kwon Do! Oh, I'm SO proud of her! She's doing so well, and completely enjoying herself. I'm thrilled that it teaches her discipline and responsibility, which I'm also trying to instill in her. She's already got the respect thing down-mostly. She doesn't cuss around my parents or in school, she asks permission for almost everything and actually takes "no" as an answer. She'll usually ask "why", but I encourage that-I don't want her to be a blind faith/useless automaton. Of course, there always comes that time when a parent just doesn't have an answer. But I've never ever said, "Because I said so." Instead I say, "Because I'm a mean and horrible, evil mother and all I want to do is make you suffer." She doesn't believe a word of it.
I had a lot more to this post, mostly about how pissed off I am that my father went and bought her a reward/toy for getting her second stripe in Tae Kwon Do, but it got lost when I was trying to publish. So this is all you get. And maybe some pictures after I get a little work done.
Laters
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