Giving Birth to the Antichrist

Wow, it was like no other experience in life. Physically, to say "excruciating pain" doesn't even beging to cover it. Ever passed a kidney stone or gotten kicked REALLY hard in the balls? Now combine those, multiply by a high power of ten and you'll have not even half the idea of how much it hurt. And then at the end it's like pushing out the biggest turd ever (to be horrifyingly graphic). At least that's what the pushing part was like: constipation. Mentally, it's intimidating. You're told all these stories of what could possibly go wrong and even if everything goes RIGHT you know you're then going to be faced with this little person that will be soley your responsibility for the rest of your life. Hell, that little person will BE your life. It's terrifying and wonderful all at the same time. Intellectually, you go through your life up to this point, your childhood. You think of all the things you hated about your parents, all the things you liked and you promise yourself that you won't turn into them and that you'll do it the 'right' way. Then you start floundering around trying to find the 'right' way. Emotionally, you wonder what it's going to be like, seeing the face of this...well, what up to this point has been a "thing" now becomes a person, a real, living being with her own personality and needs and independence from you. And then you look into that face that you've never even imagined could exist and wonder again-this time, though, you wonder how you could ever have doubted the existence of love at first sight, or the overwhelming power of that love. Even with all the people who were THERE with me, it was a singular experience that I somehow went through alone. I couldn't imagine being a man and not being able to look forward to that experience, not ever being able to have it. Penis envy? I don't think so.
Laters