"What do you get when you fall in love? You only get lies and pain and sorrow. So for at least until tomorrow, I'll never fall in love again."
Tomorrow's not an issue. I can handle tomorrow. What about the REST of my life?
Anyway, I'm all contemplative and stuff. Thinking about why I was so, so bad the last couple of nights. And I want to pretend that I don't know, but I do. At least I think I do (and this gives me an easy out). It's the whole external validation thing. A curse. My curse. I need to be told how wonderful I am. Or at least be wrapped up in others, so I can forget how horrible I am. So while Stormy's having a crisis I can concentrate on her, on helping her get through it. Or Slate or anyone. But then I go back to needing to hear it again, other people thinking I'm glorious. Because deep down I know I think I'm not. Deep down, I think I might truly be evil. I know worrying about it makes it less so. But I've lived with this facade for so long...maybe it's true, the ugliness living inside me. I hope not. I'm working up the courage to find out. And I'm reevaluating my opinion of this whole therapy thing. Maybe it's a lot more my thing that I realized or wanted to admit.
So I'm a little all over tonight. My brain does that sometimes.
Laters