I went back and did something I NEVER do. I deleted a TON of old email-including some from Royal, my knight, Chestnut, and others. Without even rereading any of it. I had to-my inbox was getting too full and I have to have room for messages from my love. That and I need to let go of things, instead of hanging on to them forever-which is my usual way. It's difficult to let go of the past when the future is so fragile, and even the present is uncertain. Difficult for me, at any rate. But it's also...liberating. It's like now I'm free to give him my whole heart, having reclaimed pieces of it from the past. I like this feeling. This sense of giving him my everything without reservation. With fear-my heart is a fragile thing-but also with trust. I trust that he won't break me. And I want him to believe me that I love him and trust me that I won't break him either. I think he's just as sared-if not more-as I am. And I love that about him, too.
And now I have to take my little antichrist out birthday shopping.
Laters