I have been going crazy all day. I don't know where he is or what he's doing, but I know it's somewhere doing something dangerous. I swear, if he gets dead, I'm going after him to bitch at him for the entirety of the afterlife.
As for Stormy's opinion about the whole thing, she thinks he's making it up. Well, she think's HE is a SHE, but still. She thinks that he's making up this whole "I'm off to die" thing because it'd be easier for me to believe he's dead than if he just quit talking to me. THEN (yes, her theory continues) in about a week or so I'll be IMed out of the blue by a stranger with whom I'll again share a genuine connection, which will actually be him as who he really is. Like some sort of 'the lie dies and the truth rises out of the ashes' type pfeonix thing. I don't think I could handle that. Not at this point. I'm too invested in this. And if you've seen me recently, you'll realize just HOW invested. Dammit!
And another thing-that of course is all about my love, and can you tell what's on my mind tonight? Anyway, my love is UBER jealous of Plum. Yeah, Plum. I mean, it started that night we went toy shopping and I was out late. My love is CONVINCED that Plum is in love with me or something equally as ridiculous. Besides, even if he IS-and when asked, Plum only said "no comment"-the point is that *I* am in love with my love. And I don't know what to DO about the whole situation. I don't want to tell Plum that I can't spend time with him anymore. He IS a friend, and the only one I HAVE in this area. I don't even SEE him that often. Like maybe once or twice a month or something. And we both like these weird independent movies and stuff-stuff that HAS to be shared at home. But my love only wants me going OUT in public with Plum. *sigh* I just don't understand. He LIVES with a woman who has told him that she DEFINITELY has feelings for him, and I'm fine with that. But I'm not even allowed to hang out with a guy who's JUST a friend and who's completely sexually inept AND whom I'M not interested in AT ALL. Well, other as a friend. I DO love my love. I'm COMPLETELY in love. And even though we're at a point where we're not exactly in a total relationship type thing, and he's said that it's okay for me to fool around and stuff...well, I know he doesn't want me to. AND he said that no matter what I do, just don't do it with Plum. I just...I mean, even if I WERE alone in a room with Plum, my heart is with my love. And I do want to be able to do stuff with Plum, like watch our bizarre movies and stuff. *sigh* But I respect and understand my love's jealousy issues. Well, maybe not TOTALLY understand, but I DO want him to be happy. Dammit. So I respect his wishes. Or, alternatively I could just lie to him about it, and go ahead and hang out with Plum anyway. But a) I don't lie and b) I can't keep a secret, not from my love. And I'D know. And I couldn't live with MYSELF if I did something like that-even just to be alone and watching a movie with him my love looks upon as cheating. Which I would never do, could never do. I'd NEVER do anything to hurt my love, not even with his quasi-'permission'. *sigh again* Love is strange. Wonderful. But strange.
One more thing and then I'm going for a while-I signed on to my old account tonight with the status of "bored, restless, and horny as hell" and all of a sudden I am SWAMPED with guys wanting to 'keep me company'. LoL It's just TOO bad that Amethyst is still awake! It's mighty convenient, too. *grin*
Laters
As for Stormy's opinion about the whole thing, she thinks he's making it up. Well, she think's HE is a SHE, but still. She thinks that he's making up this whole "I'm off to die" thing because it'd be easier for me to believe he's dead than if he just quit talking to me. THEN (yes, her theory continues) in about a week or so I'll be IMed out of the blue by a stranger with whom I'll again share a genuine connection, which will actually be him as who he really is. Like some sort of 'the lie dies and the truth rises out of the ashes' type pfeonix thing. I don't think I could handle that. Not at this point. I'm too invested in this. And if you've seen me recently, you'll realize just HOW invested. Dammit!
And another thing-that of course is all about my love, and can you tell what's on my mind tonight? Anyway, my love is UBER jealous of Plum. Yeah, Plum. I mean, it started that night we went toy shopping and I was out late. My love is CONVINCED that Plum is in love with me or something equally as ridiculous. Besides, even if he IS-and when asked, Plum only said "no comment"-the point is that *I* am in love with my love. And I don't know what to DO about the whole situation. I don't want to tell Plum that I can't spend time with him anymore. He IS a friend, and the only one I HAVE in this area. I don't even SEE him that often. Like maybe once or twice a month or something. And we both like these weird independent movies and stuff-stuff that HAS to be shared at home. But my love only wants me going OUT in public with Plum. *sigh* I just don't understand. He LIVES with a woman who has told him that she DEFINITELY has feelings for him, and I'm fine with that. But I'm not even allowed to hang out with a guy who's JUST a friend and who's completely sexually inept AND whom I'M not interested in AT ALL. Well, other as a friend. I DO love my love. I'm COMPLETELY in love. And even though we're at a point where we're not exactly in a total relationship type thing, and he's said that it's okay for me to fool around and stuff...well, I know he doesn't want me to. AND he said that no matter what I do, just don't do it with Plum. I just...I mean, even if I WERE alone in a room with Plum, my heart is with my love. And I do want to be able to do stuff with Plum, like watch our bizarre movies and stuff. *sigh* But I respect and understand my love's jealousy issues. Well, maybe not TOTALLY understand, but I DO want him to be happy. Dammit. So I respect his wishes. Or, alternatively I could just lie to him about it, and go ahead and hang out with Plum anyway. But a) I don't lie and b) I can't keep a secret, not from my love. And I'D know. And I couldn't live with MYSELF if I did something like that-even just to be alone and watching a movie with him my love looks upon as cheating. Which I would never do, could never do. I'd NEVER do anything to hurt my love, not even with his quasi-'permission'. *sigh again* Love is strange. Wonderful. But strange.
One more thing and then I'm going for a while-I signed on to my old account tonight with the status of "bored, restless, and horny as hell" and all of a sudden I am SWAMPED with guys wanting to 'keep me company'. LoL It's just TOO bad that Amethyst is still awake! It's mighty convenient, too. *grin*
Laters
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