Jesus fucking CHRIST!
Oh, wait. First Happy Halloween. I took Amethyst trick-or-treating and she came home with enough candy to keep her on a suger high until christmas. Gotta love it.
Okay, back to the jesus fucking CHRIST! Raven. Of course Raven. He says he loves me. He says it was a mistake to let (make) me go. He says he's buying a house and coming for me. I can't handle this. Not just for me, either. I am NOT going to put Amethyst in that situation just to yank her back out again. And I can't trust him. More than just the financial stability-which I need and now have independent from him-what happens the next time he gets depressed or whatever the hell it was that was wrong with him? I just think it's a bad idea. But...I loved him. Do I still? God, this is so confusing. When I talk to him-and I have-it's like I'm there again. But I refuse to acknowledge it. Not until certain requirements are met. I have to get out of debt-the debt he helped create-and if I have to do it on my own it will take a while. And if I have to do it on my own, I can't trust him to take care of me financially. So many promises, so much time spent (wasted?) with him. We went through so much together and he just threw it away. But now he's SORRY *note the sarcasm*. Oh, well. If he's SORRY that makes it all go away. I am now unhurt. I am now unbroken. I am now unlost.
No, wait...
Laters
Oh, wait. First Happy Halloween. I took Amethyst trick-or-treating and she came home with enough candy to keep her on a suger high until christmas. Gotta love it.
Okay, back to the jesus fucking CHRIST! Raven. Of course Raven. He says he loves me. He says it was a mistake to let (make) me go. He says he's buying a house and coming for me. I can't handle this. Not just for me, either. I am NOT going to put Amethyst in that situation just to yank her back out again. And I can't trust him. More than just the financial stability-which I need and now have independent from him-what happens the next time he gets depressed or whatever the hell it was that was wrong with him? I just think it's a bad idea. But...I loved him. Do I still? God, this is so confusing. When I talk to him-and I have-it's like I'm there again. But I refuse to acknowledge it. Not until certain requirements are met. I have to get out of debt-the debt he helped create-and if I have to do it on my own it will take a while. And if I have to do it on my own, I can't trust him to take care of me financially. So many promises, so much time spent (wasted?) with him. We went through so much together and he just threw it away. But now he's SORRY *note the sarcasm*. Oh, well. If he's SORRY that makes it all go away. I am now unhurt. I am now unbroken. I am now unlost.
No, wait...
Laters
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