"I hope that you will see
How much you mean to me
I don't understand why you have gone
The pain inside my heart
It's tearing me apart
Cause now I stand here on my own
But now I cry myself to sleep
Only you are what I need
We can make it if we try
I am no where without you
I don't know what I should do
Cause my tears will never dry...
And I still wonder why..."
What am I doing? Well, I'm not going to be able to post anything until tomorrow. But right now I'm drinking a bottle of wine-yes, and entire bottle, and yes, with my medicine that says "do not have liquor while on this". Screw it. I'm drinking. And trying to find a way to understand when he doesn't call. When, not if. I know it. I do. But hope blossoms strong as ever. And even if he doesn't call tonight, he'll still have my number. And still won't call, and STILL, every night, I'll think 'maybe tonight's the night, maybe he'll call'. And even though every night I'll know he won't, and every night I'll be disappointed when he doesn't. And every night I'll still love him. *sigh* I love him. I almost regret having even given him my number.
Laters