I slept so poorly last night. I was just too worried about my love, and I kept having nightmares about him dying, and about his ghost coming to beg me not to forget him. So I'm just not going to sleep tonight. I've got a number, and I went out earlier to get a long distance card. So I'm just going to keep trying to call all night and if he doesn't answer, I'll just have to continue to worry. But I'm not sleeping. I couldn't stand those dreams, not again, not after the ones that have been keeping me up night after night since Thanksgiving.
I don't know what to think. I've got him in my heart and he's all I'm thinking about. But Stormy's words keep echoing in my brain, and I can't help but wonder. Oh, just let him be real and true and let him come back to me. Whatever deity is out there, however much you've had it in for me up to this point, just this one thing. I can handle the child, the loss, the hatred from my family, the betrayal of all I've cared for. But not this. This...this would kill me. Leave me alive to suffer in some other way. Just leave me alive.
Laters