My Dearest Love,
I am in love with you. Should that be torture for you, I apologize. I trust you and I believe you and I love you beyond all reason. And I don't ask for anything in return. I accept when I get nothing in return.
If you want to talk torture, then let's. It's torture for me when you ask me to leave you. It's torture for me when you accuse me of loving you only to hurt you. It's torture for me that you are so convinced I'm going to leave you that you're doing everything in your power to prove yourself right. It's torture for me to love you this intensely, this overwhelmingly and to have you doubt me. It's torture for me to sleep anymore, as I have nothing but nightmares. It's torture for me that the only thing I want, the only thing I've EVER wanted my whole life is denied me. It's torture for me that I can't do anything to help you, that even if I could you wouldn't let me.
And how do I torture you? I refuse to leave you. I insist on loving you. I give you everything I am, everything of ME. I talk to you when you cannot talk to me. I show myself to you when you cannot show yourself to me. I tell you my every secret, my every thought and feeling, my every everything. I don't understand-and yes, I can see how this is torture. But I accept even what I do not understand. I know you, more of you than anyone. And I love you.
I would certainly love to borrow your dictionary sometime, my love. Maybe 'torture' is defined differently in yours.
Regardless, I will continue to torture you in this way. And allow you to continue to torture me as well.
Laters