I can't think. I can't sleep. All I can do is WANT him. I love him, but tonight I just NEED him physically. I can't handle this. I just can't do it. I want him to touch me, to carress my tongue with his. I want to wrap my legs around him and pull him TO me. I want to SCREAM-his name while I'm with him, but right now in frustration that I'm NOT with him. All night, all I could think was that he was HERE. He was twenty minutes from me. And I haven't been with anyone for like three months. I know I went a year and all that, but DAMMIT! I wish I could just ask him to jump on a plane and come be WITH me. I need that. We both need the physical attention. But I can't even ask him to call. I keep hoping, thinking he knows where I live, maybe the next knock will be him. Maybe I'll open the door and he won't even say anything, just wrap me in his arms and be kissing me. This is TORTURE, this not being with him. It's hell. I'm not going to be able to handle this-and not just not well. But not at all.
Laters