"What'll she look like when she
opens her eyes and sees what she wants to see
instead of this cold mirror's lies and all the pieces complete
she says with a sigh 'I think I'm ready...'
What'll she sound like when she
opens her mouth and all the phrases sound right
as they fall out and she says 'yes' and she's not
scared of the sound she says she's ready"
That was written for me. And not just for me, but for me RIGHT NOW. Almost as if he looked into my life and put it into these words that somehow make sense-when I'm more than confused. I downloaded this music all morning-I even made a CD of it for when I drive. It's fascinating and captivating and just...makes me want to be that girl behind the surface of the mirror. I can't get enough of it. I've never really admitted to anyone what kind of effect music can and does have on me. Not even Ruby Red, after nearly three years. Stormy might know-she probably does-but I've never come out and told her. Maybe I'm incredibly gullible or just easily susceptible to suggestion, but you can put me in almost any mood with the right music. Probably not even almost.
On this journey of self exploration (and bear with me here, it does tie back to the main point-I think) at least I'm more self aware than most. I know THAT I put this facade up for the world to see. I even know WHY, or at least have a really good idea. So at that point you'd think it would be easy to cast the facade aside and live as who I am, even allow others to know who I am. It's not. But at least I think I'm ready to try.
Laters